I hate Preaching via a FB status so i am putting this here, but this is really just not sitting right w/ me. feel free to disagree, its totally cool

Making Disney Characters bald is a cute idea for those children dealing with hair loss from Chemo. BUT at the same time-

Do we really want kids to think that Cinderella had to leave the ball early to go to the ER?

That Tiana had to work 2 jobs so that she could afford her medical bills?

That Ariel wanted legs because she had to get a port and could not get wet while it was accessed.

Or Snow White & sleeping beauty were just experiencing the fatigue side effects of chemotherapy?

That Princess jasmine & Belle couldn't leave the palace because they had to be in isolation from a bone marrow transplant?

Not to mention Rapunzel would be totally screwed since her hair was magical.

Also who is buying these dolls? are they going to be donated? would they be sold as a fundraiser for some child cancer charity?

Disney is one of the happiest places on earth and little girls view the princesses as who they wish they were- so do these kids need a doll that is a constant reminder that their world is not always happy? it is ok for kids to dream to be a princess- with or with out hair. Instead of changing the old...make something new- and raise money/ awareness that way.

confidence

I was told yesterday by the crazy old lady who teaches with me that she is there to help "build my confidence.

she also pulled the C card on me- claiming that she is working to help distract herself from her husbands cancer.... HELLO I am working to distract my self form my cancer for 3 days out of every week... sorry you cant pull the cancer card on some one with cancer- #youaredoingitwrong

but yea- my "lack of confidence" i realized is me saying "Umm... ok? are you sure?" to all her crazy ideas instead of "No, i disagree- you are a crazy old lady"

i guess i would rather look weak then like a bitch? then again- she might also think i have low confidence because i started to cry when she was talking non-sense at me and i really just had enough of her going off book of the lesson plans we created together. some how she misunderstood everything we planned for the next two weeks and took it as a change to go buy more crap for the classroom- instead of seeing what we had in the BIG FULL supplies closet!

the other thing she does that is driving me up a wall is the fact that she feels the need to tell me what i should and shouldnt be doing, because i have cancer. clearly i should not be sweeping the Hay from the sensory table, some how cleaning out side closet with all the dust and germs is bad for me? where the hell is she getting her information

i guess i dont understand how alittle dust is something to worry about when i work in a preschool with 3/4 year olds who are all sneezing, pooping, and chewing on toys. I tell her this and she goes "oh- do your doctors know you work here?"

of course they do! why would i hid that i work at a preschool. the doctor has to sign a form and give me a TB test so i can work at the preschool! she is sooo crazy

so when it comes to confidence i have alot of it... I just dont want to be the little bitch who yells at the 60 year old lady for acting like a grandma instead of a teacher

energy

I found that I suddenly have big bursts of energy. lately the last thing i want to do is just chill on the couch, which i should do because in honest i am tired. BUT i just keep going.

my recent project is cleaning out the garage. well it already was "cleaned" out this summer but now my car is in it and my dad worked really hard to get hooks and other things to organize it so that my car fits in it better.

the last of the clutter is the crazy messy wall o junk and then the organized everything is in a clear bin wall. the messy junk wall is really messy and well its stuff we use at least once a month so i am not going to be messing with that yet. what i am working on is the *organized* bins.

OMG- these bins are filled with junk. lots and lots of junk. then under the junk you find cool stuff like a project my brother did when he was in first grade, my Bat- Mitzvah prep book, a dress that i clearly painted on when i was 3 years old, video of my brother's piano playing, but then its back to junk.

I know for a fact that we have not opened a single one of these containers for pretty much the entire time we have been living at this address. how do i know? because one container was full of things that were once in my room.... from the house we lived in before i went to college. so these bins have been full of junk for about 7+ years now.

this means that we put stuff in these bins to store while we moved. they got shoved in some space then when we moved again we just shoved them in the garage.

Now I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE watching hoarders, but after an incident that occured in our garage this summer... i can no longer watch the show as i realized there is a mild case of hoarding in my house. I had my mom donate about 15 bags of blankets, towels, linens, etc to a animal shelter and now we have all this space in my linen closet. I cleaned out the spice cabinet to discover organization there, I cleaned out my room- that was the best feeling ever. but once i got to the garage this summer- holy cow!

so there is my approach to cleaning out the garage- I am throwing away things i know for a fact we are never ever going to use*- or things that i mine that i haven't seen in 7 years and don't care for. when it comes to pictures, projects from when i was little, or other memory type items, i leave them be. things that we really dont need, but i know if i throw out before asking I keep.

my plan is to then go through the bins with my mom because most of the stuff is her craft things, holiday things, and a huge majority is her work stuff. she always will look at something and say "oh i told some one i would give them X so hold on to it."

this plan has allowed me to empty out 3 large tubs and one smaller one. this will let us get all teh junk out of the basement so that can get repaired and then we can countinue purging.

~Heather

*honestly i would love to donate some of this stuff, but alot of what i am throwing away is actually complete trash and not things people need. like a random plastic handle, dried up markers, half colored coloringbooks

movie review

http://moviemusereviews.com/reflections-on-5050-from-someone-whos-been-there/

above is a review i just did for my friend's website for the movie 50/50. enjoy!

ps- everyone who knows someone who is going through / has gone through/ cancer should see this movie

dear cleaning ladies

Hi its me, you have cleaned my house now since i was 3 years old... well not you personally, but well you know what i mean.

You were there for my crazy phase when we lived in our first house where I refused to take down the crazy rainbow blinds off the window- i mean lets face it they were 90's child's dream. You bared through the tacky wallpaper I lived with in our house in middle school/ high school. and in college you kept my room looking like a great storage space with a bed in it.

Well now we are here, in my amazingly coordinated room. I have complete matching everything- its a very bright happy bed room i would say. Its the most furnished bedroom in the house and well since April I have had a new bedspread that finally is warm enough and also matches the rest of the room.

So i ask you this- how does a maroon pillow case and a black flat sheet get through the door and not go unnoticed? AND how do my bright sheets end up in my brother's room?

Clearly this is a MAJOR issue. please work on it because i feel really bad remaking my bed after you leave every tuesday

Sincerely,

my life is soooo hard.

ps- thanks for finding my cat's favorite toy! He was going crazy playing with it after you left!

Health "Care"

I spent 4 hours on monday calling, redialing, having my call dropped, getting transfered, the computer system at the home delivery pharmacy, etc ALL to order my next months supply of medication AND get a shot that is needed at the end of my current round of chemo. my insurance company will only let me get these medications through this service.

I finally get home and call again, get through and am able to place the order. I felt like I was trying to do something illegal as I was getting the 10th degree from each person I talked to, "do I need this medication still?" "can I repeat my birthday" "are you sure we have your address correct" "this is how much your at taking each day"

To make matters worst, and here is where it gets complicated... go back in time with me to Jan 2011, when i get a home delivery of 5 days worth of medication. ALL but one pill is not smashed as it covered by 3 ice packs. this medication is chemotherapy and is TOXIC to the touch. they resend it, this time TAPE TIGHTLY with bubblewrap, now 3 of the 5 pills are smashed. I tell them i am done with home delivery and they understand,but they try one more time to send me the 5 pills, and that fails as well. so they allow me to pick up this medication from now on at the local pharmacy down the road from my house.Oh did i mention the delivery arrived 2 days late?

THIS CRAZYNESS from Jan left me with a issue- the home pharmacy always gives me a full 5 pills, BUT that first round back in JAN, I had to use one of the 5 from the LOCAL pharmacy to finish my orginal chemo round, which means I have 4 left over and then have to order the next round a month

So here I am, i called in the prescription for this on SUNDAY. they said they needed doctor approval. so i waited, waited, waited, and then went in to go pick it up. They claim the doctor did not authorize it. i explain i only need ONE pill. they say they can't give me it with out the authorization. We call the office, get a nurse to authorize it and teh local place is like "awesome we will contact your insurance company...

the insurance company is claiming that as of last week this medication is no long eligible for me to use. I have to pay $65 dollars our of my own pocket tomorrow to pick up this one pill. if i wanted all 5 pills I would have to pay over for them. they are refusing to cover it, even though it is working.

AT least that is what they told the local pharmacy. the insurance company then called us back saying if we use their home delivery service it will be covered by them and that they dont know how it was ever allowed to go to the local pharmacy. I am freaking out- what if they brake all these pills, what if they dont delivery on time?

I thought your health care provide was supposed to CARE about your treatment and you as a person. I guess not

I realize this is neither a funny post nor snarky... this is just me totally pissed off and really upset because they are holding my medication hostage basically

THings I want to punch

in no particular order... except #1

1. cancer (duh)

2. pinktober (seriously, we get it, boobies can get cancer... no offense to people with breast cancer, just the color pink and the weird inappropriate status people want me to post to show awareness.)

3. Crunchy snow. OMG WORST SOUND EVER, also refer to scooping frozen lemon ice, trying to break up harden sugar.

4. Dr A-hole who misdiagnosed me (I read his deposition... he only lied about 15 times... under oath. jerk.) ... sid enote got to punch him for millions of dollar. thanks for the Audi ass)

5. that one toy in the preschool all the kids fight over

6. the weather (PICK A SEASON! geeze chicago!)

7. waiting rooms (magazines from a year ago need to go in the trash.)

8. 7:20 am (too early. even though preschool teaching is fun)

9. stupid txt messages ( if you are bored and want to talk, dont text me all day... CALL ME, lets chat.)

10. chemo (drip, drip, drip. OMG go faster!)

11. living with parents (free, but comes with constant contact)

12. halloween costumes (plus size should mean PLUS size. if i want to look like a cute slutty pirate i should be allowed to no matter what size i am)

13. blood labs (more waiting, and knowing for a fact they are all sitting and chit chatting)

14. laundry (why cant clothes just magically fold/ hang themselves up

15. cleaning ladies (where did you guys move all my stuff too???)